February 2012
3 posts
Post THIMUN Depression: it's deady - NOT BY ISLA...
“For many delegates, THIMUN is the highlight of their year; the week when their passion and interest can come together to create an explosion of clauses, points of information, and powerful speeches” … and semen. On faces, on the walls of toilet cubicles, in parks and on play equipment and just generally all over the place. But, as we have consistently said, only have safe sex.*...
Anonymous asked: Hey why won't you answer the questions I thought this was reliable reporting!
January 2012
69 posts
Your questions answered, pt 2 - NOT BY ANYONE FROM...
“Insert a further lame quote here.” Keeping our promise to continue to answer your questions, here are some further questions we have received. They will be quoted in full and we will respond. These messages were all submitted anonymously. Message “Are you faking Gossip Girl? It is very cowardly of you to state all the “flaws” of the delegations anonymously, who are...
Your questions answered - NOT BY ANYONE FROM...
“Insert lame quote here.” Basically, while this isn’t to be our last story, we wanted to take the opportunity to answer some of the private messages that we’ve received. We’ll post the relevant messages in full and then answer them. All of the messages were submitted anonymously. Message “I don’t know about the other Australians, but the two in SC are a bunch of arrogant twats. It’s a shame...
A Guide to the Rooms of THIMUN - NOT BY VICKI LIU
“With over 3,000 people carefully separated into rooms through out the World Forum, it can only be expected that [the] personalities of each room would soon develop.” And some of those personalities were completely mental. Rather than attempt to provide a guide to each room, as Ms Liu did in her article, we’re going to provide an alternative guide: this time to the worst, weirdest or wackiest...
How to win the THIMUN points game →
It has come to the attention of this blog that the nephew of Julia Gillard, prime minister of Australia, is at THIMUN. According to our source, he sits on GA6 committee. And he must be worth at least 100 points.
My Hague plague - NOT BY YASEMIN PARLAR AND AURY...
“Hachoo! I need to get a tissue. Was it in the front pocket? What is all this stuff?” You’ve just had unprotected sex and those are genital warts. A doctor is going to have to chemically burn them off your privates. Congratulations. “Got sick. Missed the bus. Walked home soaking wet. Drank some guy’s coke!” And now you’ve got herpes in your mouth....
“But what if there is a bigger melon, delegates?”
– Nauru delegate, GA plenary session
“Who let the women out of the kitchen?”
– Unknown delegate, GA plenary session
“Sovereignty? Who cares! The USA knows best!”
– DPRK delegate, Environment plenary session
“This resolution is like a baguette. It may be long, it may be hard, but it...”
– Johnny Desperate, GA4 committee delegate
“A delegate from your committee died last night.”
– Judas Iscariot, Special Conference delegate. Don’t make jokes about people dying. It’s sick.
“This resolution is like a condom. You think it’s going to protect you but...”
– Marilyn Monroe, Special Conference delegate
“Rwanda needs to get over it’s love affair with it’s genocide.”
– Pierre Psychotic, GA1 committee delegate.
“The trans-Atlantic slave trade was worse than the Holocaust.”
– Amelia Antisemite, GA6 committee delegate
Anonymous asked: Can I get pregnant from giving a blow job?
“This resolution is like an Arab woman. It covers everything.”
– Charles Ignoramus, Environment Commission delegate
“This resolution is good, but it doesn’t go deep enough. Sort of like...”
– Barney Stinson, GA2 committee delegate
Mid-week, delegates adapt to THIMUN struggles and...
“We’ve all felt it before: the stress, the anxiety, the self-consciousness of being in a new place.” Ms Miller goes on to describe the difficulties of MUN, in the process demonstrating that while Munity can claim that delegates are adapting, they are still either unable or being prevented from adapting to the need for a conference newspaper with some more interesting content. It...
“Is it in order for the Chair to only select delegates they’ve been hitting...”
– Delegates that are not being hit on, every committee
“…and anyone who disagrees is clearly ignorant.”
– Franklin D. Flame, GA1 committee delegate
“Delegate: “Point of order, is it in order for the delegate at the podium...”
– Henrietta Heffer, Special Conference 2 delegate
“Chair: “Are you even in this committee?”
Delegate: “No.”
– Karen Smith, Human Rights Committee delegate
“Is the delegate for Iran high on weed?”
– Peter Pan, Disarmament Commission delegate
“Delegate: “This resolution is bad. It’s very bad. Incredibly...”
– Sam Seaborn, GA3 committee delegate
“Do we really have to go to THIMUN tomorrow?”
– Riak Riak, delegate from unknown committee (overheard at Madness)
A day in the life - NOT BY ANNA BRADLEY-WEBB
“Crowds of delegates with a plethora of questions and needs constantly surround the Secretariat desk. They need photocopies, directions, and have miscellaneous questions. The admin staff members behind the desk are in somewhat of a frenzy for most of the day.” Heidi Braun, an admin staff member from the German International School, says she can no longer sleep at night. “This job...
Anonymous asked: Are you from New Zealand?
Anonymous asked: If you are male, then meet me in the Men's bathroom in Club Seven at 12:30. You'll know me by the glow-sticks that I'll have around my neck... You said you liked forward right?
Anonymous asked: Will you marry me?
“Pakistan and India have both signed and ratified the NPT.”
– Adem Atom, Disarmament Commission delegate This is not true. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_parties_to_the_Nuclear_Non-Proliferation_Treaty
“The Iraq War was an accident.”
– George Tree, Jnr. - Disarmament Commission delegate
“If you vote against this resolution the world will actually end.”
– Johan Johansson, ECOSOC delegate
“I was going to quote Gandalf but somebody already did that.”
– Nadine de Witt, Environment sub-commission 2 delegate
Shots of short skirts at THIMUN 2012 →
Today Munity get their first high five from us. We were hoping for a cleavage video but if this is what’s on offer we’ll go with it. Their caption on youtube reads: “[T]his is a documentaion (sic) of how short skirts can be / shouldn’t be at MUN”. You can see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=NL&v=6o_aJ3Ve8YA Hope no one gets fired for this. Then again,...
Whose side are you on? - NOT BY MARIANA DOMINGUES
“In most cases, truly dedicated delegates prepare for this particular conference months in advance … Students are encouraged to step out of their comfort zones - to explore, to take risks, and essentially to be fearless.” That’s definitely one way of looking at it. A lot of delegates that this blog has spoken to, however, look at THIMUN as a holiday. A week off school. Time...
“I’ve been asked who I am. I am Winston Churchill, as you can see from my...”
– Winston Churchill, British prime minister (1940-1945, 1951-1955)
